My Child Says ‘I Don’t Understand’ — What Should Parents Do?

Few words can be more frustrating for a parent to hear during homework than:

“I don’t understand.”

You might try explaining it again. Then again, in a slightly different way. Perhaps you search for an example online, ask them to read the question carefully, or find yourself wondering why something that seems straightforward to you feels so difficult for your child.

The important thing to remember is that “I don’t understand” doesn’t necessarily mean your child isn’t capable.

It can mean they have missed one small building block, lack confidence in the subject, are unsure how to approach the question, or simply need the concept explained in a way that makes sense to them.

So, what should you do?

1. Don’t immediately give them the answer

It can be tempting to step in and tell your child exactly what to do, particularly when homework is taking longer than expected.

However, giving them the answer may solve the problem in the moment without helping them understand the underlying concept.

Instead, try asking:

• “Which part don’t you understand?”
• “What do you think the question is asking you to do?”
• “Can you show me what you do understand?”
• “Have you done something similar before?”

Breaking the problem down can help you identify exactly where the difficulty lies.

2. Find out what they do understand

Sometimes “I don’t understand” actually means “I don’t know where to start.”

Rather than looking at the entire question as one big problem, work backwards.

If your child is struggling with a maths question, for example, ask them to explain the first step they would take. If they can do that, you already have somewhere to build from.

Finding the starting point can make a difficult task feel much more manageable.

3. Look for the missing building block

Many areas of learning are cumulative. Children build new knowledge on top of what they have already learned.

This means that a child can appear to suddenly struggle with a topic when the real issue started much earlier.

For example, a child struggling with fractions may actually have gaps in their understanding of multiplication, division or equivalent values.

Similarly, difficulty with a particular area of English may stem from uncertainty around grammar, vocabulary or comprehension.

Identifying the gap is often more useful than simply repeating the current topic.

4. Avoid saying “but this is easy”

What feels easy to an adult may be completely unfamiliar to a child.

Comments such as:

“It’s easy.”
“You should know this.”
“We’ve done this before.”

can unintentionally make a child feel embarrassed about asking for help.

Instead, reassure them that finding something difficult is part of learning.

Try:

“Let’s work it out together.”

or:

“It’s okay not to understand it yet. Let’s break it down.”

This small change in language can make a significant difference to a child’s confidence.

5. Pay attention to patterns

If your child occasionally says they don’t understand something, there may be no reason for concern.

But if you are hearing it regularly, it may be worth looking more closely.

Ask yourself:

• Is it always the same subject?
• Is it happening with homework or also in classwork?
• Are they taking much longer to complete tasks?
• Have they started avoiding particular subjects?
• Are they becoming frustrated or upset?
• Has their confidence changed?
• Are they reluctant to ask their teacher questions?

These patterns can help you understand whether your child is experiencing a temporary difficulty or whether they may need additional support.

6. Give them space to learn in their own way

Children don’t all learn in exactly the same way.

One child might understand a concept immediately from seeing an example. Another might need to talk it through. Someone else may need to practise several similar questions before the idea becomes secure.

If your explanation isn’t working, try changing the approach rather than simply repeating the same explanation louder or more slowly.

Sometimes a different example or a different way of presenting the information is all it takes for something to click.

7. Know when extra support could help

If your child consistently feels that they “don’t understand”, additional support can help identify what is getting in the way.

A tutor can take the time to work at your child’s pace, identify gaps in their knowledge and explain concepts in a way that is suited to their individual needs.

Just as importantly, good tuition isn’t only about getting the right answer.

It is about helping a child understand why the answer is right — and giving them the confidence to approach the next question independently.

Learning doesn’t happen at the same pace for every child

One of the most important things parents can do is resist the temptation to compare.

Children develop different strengths at different times. A child who struggles with a particular topic today may be completely comfortable with it a few months from now with the right explanation, practice and encouragement.

So the next time your child says:

“I don’t understand.”

Try not to see it as a failure.

See it as useful information.

It is an opportunity to find out what they don’t understand, why they don’t understand it, and what support could help them move forward.

At Newman Tuition, we believe every child can make progress with the right support.

Our tutors work with students to identify areas for development, strengthen their understanding and build the confidence they need to become more independent learners.

If your child is finding a particular subject difficult or their confidence has started to dip, get in touch with Newman Tuition to find out how we can help.